Tete-a-tete Archives
An eclectic sampling of my award-winning humor columns. New columns can be read online at www.nashuatelegraph.com on the first Thursday of the month, with columns posted here later in the month.More in "Tete-a-tete"
- Tete-a-tete: Pop culture references lead to unexpected connections
- Tete-a-tete: "Handicapped accessible" doesn't really mean what people think it means
- Tete-a-tete: The ins and outs of the college moving experience
- Tete-a-tete: When dealing with cabin fever, this cat's on a roll
- Tete-a-tete: An artistic masterpiece 20 years in the making
- Tete-a-tete: Promp and circumstance: Modern-day prom prep
- Tete-a-tete: Blue Apron - a Pandora's box of weekly culinary adventures
- Tete-a-tete: Serve up a slice of family traditions, new or old
- Tete-a-tete: 'Family court' has a whole new meaning at our house
- Tete-a-tete: Drafted on the farm: Grandpa's war at home
- Tete-a-tete: With family, you have to give it the ol' college try
- Tete-a-tete: Walk a mile in my Boots: Viva la feline difference
- Tete-a-tete: Slacker movies offer unlikely heroes
- Tete-a-tete - Bag that theory: Purse contents aren't all that enlightening
- Tete-a-tete: Keeping up with the pace of modern-day elder care
- Tete-a-tete: Easter dinner reveals a shocking family secret
- Tete-a-tete: Time flies when you forget to change the clocks
- Tete-a-tete: Here in New Hampshire, we don't take voting 'for granite'
- Tete-a-tete: An Eagle takes flight in another family milestone
- Tete-a-tete: When choosing heirlooms, cross your Ts and dot your ... claims
- Tete-a-tete: Even the best-intentioned Christmas traditions can fail to take hold
- Tete-a-tete: How to enjoy a wedding, even if it's not your own
- Tete-a-tete: A tale of unintentional cat ownership
- Tete-a-tete: Admissions about the college admissions process
- Tete-a-tete: Avoiding car-tastrophe while purchasing a new vehicle
- Tete-a-tete: As American as apple pie: U.S. culture, through other eyes
- Tete-a-tete: The geek gene runs strong in our family
- Tete-a-tete: Grieving entertainment losses with a few simple steps
- Tete-a-tete: Parents, do not give your child the name equivalent of the April birthstone
- Tete-a-tete: Memento or clutter? Don't leave that decision to the historians
- Tete-a-tete: How Mom and Dad saved Christmas (and a hamster)
- Tete-a-tete: Having trouble keeping your New Year's resolutions? It could be "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" Syndrome
- Tete-a-tete: When Christmas starts before Thanksgiving (a reflection on temporal discombobulation)
- Tete-a-tete: Sizing up a new family pet, or the difference between a cat and a hamster
- Tete-a-tete: When your worst fear comes true
- Tete-a-tete: Family game night can leave you drawing a blank
- Tete-a-tete: When you have a really good reason to skip class
- Tete-a-tete: The downside to the world's most flattering bridesmaid dress
- Tete-a-tete: Say it with flowers - just don't say where you got them
- Tete-a-tete: Shockingly true tales of my Herculean, heroic great-grandpa
- Tete-a-tete: For goodness 'sakes - generational namesakes can confuse
- Tete-a-tete: Confused by the weather? Signs spring has almost sprung
- Tete-a-tete: Seeking the Holy Grail of a universal bridesmaid dress
- Tete-a-tete: Love poetry gone bad, or why I'm still not allowed to use matches
- Tete-a-tete: A traveler's guide to the Big Apple
- Tete-a-tete: Feats of strength aren't just for Festivus festivities
- Tete-a-tete: Change comes from within - sometimes, literally
- Tete-a-tete: Car games: from punch-buggy to punching cell phone buttons
- Tete-a-tete: I mustache you a question about costume practicality
- Tete-a-tete: Functional furniture is making my family dysfunctional
- Tete-a-tete: Jungle Speed board game can bring out the beast in you
- Tete-a-tete: To call it a ‘mooving’ ride would be inaccurate
- Tete-a-tete: When saying ‘sweetheart’ just won’t do
- Tete-a-tete: Eat your heart out, Festivus: Stymchastynchula is here
- Tete-a-tete: Hoping Korean music can explode in the U.S. with a K-pop
- Tete-a-tete: Holidays, especially with Grandma, are always colorful
- Tete-a-tete: Sometimes, it's the grilled cheese that makes the memories
- Tete-a-tete: Still recovering from Dad's forays into home education
Tete-a-tete: Shockingly true tales of my Herculean, heroic great-grandpa
There’s a nigh-mythic quality to the stories that family members tell of days gone by. Whether it’s a clever prank a relative pulled on one of their professors that went down in college history or the tired tale of walking to school in the snow — uphill, both ways — that gets trotted out every time you ask for a ride to the bus stop, the accounts of yesteryear seem a little more vibrant, a little more epic than the goings-on of today.
Even though I greatly enjoy hearing these stories, I tend to take them with a grain of salt. As someone who has been unintentionally guilty of revisionist childhood (to use my father’s turn of phrase), I understand that the passage of time and the differing perspective of our younger selves can paint the past with more majestic strokes than were initially laid on the canvas.
And then, just recently, my grandfather on my mother’s side unexpectedly came across a treasure trove of newspaper articles about his father that not only back up the family stories, but flesh out details that make my great-grandfather the real-life equivalent of folk heroes like Paul Bunyan and John Henry.
Great-Grandpa Batty, or “Raging Reg” as he was referred to in the headlines, stood nearly six and a half feet tall, tipped the scales at 260 pounds and wore a size 17 shoe. He served in the Army during World War I and went to college after he was discharged from the military, so he was 22 or 23 years old when he enrolled as a freshman at Yale University. This age gap of a few years between Great-Grandpa and his collegiate peers, in combination with his enormous stature, led his fellow students to nickname him “Pop Batty.”
While Pop earned his bachelor’s in mechanical engineering, he wrestled and played football for Yale. As the captain of the wrestling team, his stature landed him in what was then known as the unlimited class. Based on the newspaper articles we have, it seems as though the numbered weight classes ended with 175 pounds, meaning Pop wrestled opponents ranging from 176 pounds to behemoths even larger than himself.
He was named the Eastern Intercollegiate Wrestling champion in his class after winning a grueling 14 minute and 40 second match, and he always insisted that his fellow wrestlers play by the rules. He once threw his opponent out of the ring — as in, heaved him bodily — for biting his ear during a match. And if Pop threw you, you stayed thrown.
Speaking of throwing people, collegiate football had to introduce a rule specifically to keep Yale from having a consistent advantage over the other teams. The rule? You cannot score by throwing your teammate, who is holding the ball, into the end zone.
Until that time, one of the Yale football team’s favorite plays had been to get the ball to the one of the lighter players and steer that player toward Pop. The player would step into Pop’s waiting hands and Pop would launch him up into the air, over the heads of the opposing team and right into the end zone. For variation, one player ran up Pop’s back and leapt into the end zone.
Pop’s unique grasp of football strategy came in extremely handy, however, when the Rialto Theater in New Haven, Conn. caught fire in November 1921. He rescued five women from the burning building in quite an interesting fashion.
To quote the newspaper article, “He seized a woman in each hand and succeeding in getting them to the door, at the same time pushing another one before him. Returning, he dragged out the fourth by the leg, and the fifth by the collar of her coat.”
Pop himself escaped without any injuries, which was a miracle and a mercy. He had assisted in putting out another fire during his time in the military, but had fallen through the roof and had had to be rescued. It took two men to drag Pop out of the burning building, one of whom Pop reconnected with later in life. Pop’s rescuer remembered him as “the man who almost gave me a heart attack,” because it had been such a struggle to carry someone of Pop’s stature.
Researching Pop has been quite an adventure. The newspaper articles my great-grandmother saved and passed down to my grandfather have provided a real-life foundation for a larger-than-life relative whose epic accomplishments could have been written off as mere family folklore, like the labors of a modern-day Hercules. Nothing makes a story better than finding out it’s really true.
I am concerned, however, that this could be the start of a worrying trend in which other relatives start digging up news coverage to support their own stories. Should Dad ever produce rock-solid evidence that he did indeed walk to school in the snow — uphill, both ways — it will be much harder for my youngest siblings to negotiate for a ride to the bus stop on drizzly days.
– Teresa Santoski
Originally published June 5, 2014.
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